With a quick search online, it’s easy to tell what most wedding vendors think of elopements (we absolutely love them), but what about real couples?

Did they have any challenges planning or regret afterward? What did they love about eloping, and would they do anything differently?

I was curious, too, so I surveyed the couples I’ve worked with in the past to find their answers. Here they are – completely unfiltered!

Why did they choose to elope?

Authenticity

Almost every single couple I’ve worked with told me they wanted to elope because it felt more like them than a wedding would. It takes intentional effort to reflect on your values, and it can be difficult to realize that what you value is different from what’s expected of you. Intentionally choosing to act on this insight and create a day that speaks to you, rather than one that caters to societal norms and makes others more comfortable, is bold and brave.

“We realized that getting married is about growing in our relationship, so we wanted it to feel right to us rather than what other people expected of us!”

- K + Y

“We chose to elope because neither of us felt like we were meant to do a traditional wedding. We loved the idea of adventure and creating a unique and lasting memory.”

- M + G

Focus

Like K + E said, “Traditional marriages feel performative to us, and we wanted our wedding to reflect our values and the commitment we were making in an uncomplicated and meaningful way.”

They, along with many others, mentioned they wanted the focus of the day to be about them and the decision to get married. Larger weddings tend to take the focus away from the newlyweds. The more people you add to your day, the more complicated it gets to cater, entertain, and gather.

“We chose to elope because we wanted it to be about us. It's our opinion that traditional wedding ceremonies end up being about the guests more than the two getting married. We didn't want any distractions or any outside energy to come into our space for our special moment.”

- N + S

Values

Elopements pair down the wedding day to the essentials. Rather than spending tons of time and money choosing elaborate decorations, or spending hours deliberating over catering details, eloping reduces stress and simplifies the planning process. Fewer details to manage (in the planning process and on the day of) means it’s much easier to keep your focus on what really matters — getting married — and having a relaxed and fun day.

“The thought of planning an entire wedding and reception was overwhelming for us…. We loved the flexibility eloping gave us — we got to make it EXACTLY what we wanted it to be. There were no restrictions, nor people telling us how things ‘should be done.’”

- K + Y

“We wanted to elope because we spend so much of our time outside that we didn't even consider getting married with a roof over our heads. Eloping fit the environment we wanted to be in.”

- E + K

Boundaries

Weddings seem to draw out family drama and politics. Not everyone involved or invited to a traditional wedding may get along or respects will respect wishes. Others might wish to use your event to fit their own agendas. Your celebration isn’t something you should have to approach with caution.

“My relationship with my family is complicated enough to make a family wedding negatively impact the meaning of the day. I chose to put a boundary around that to protect it.”

- K + E

“Our parents had their own list of political invites. Choosing to elope simplified things and eliminated those.”

- I + C

Cost

The financial burden of hosting a wedding is a deal breaker for some. Check here to see how much people spend eloping, and know that it wouldn’t be unusual to save $25,000 by opting out of a traditional wedding. This leaves you with more to spend on things you value, such as making lasting memories on your honeymoon.

“Cost was also a significant factor; a traditional wedding was out of our price range.”

- E + K

What did you love about eloping?

Less stress

My couples couldn’t emphasize this enough! Even my clients that planned destination elopements to areas they’d never visited before said it was a breeze. Hiring fewer vendors certainly helps, but smaller guest lists allow for more flexibility as well. Others highlighted how relaxed and carefree they were throughout their whole elopement day — words I’ve never heard described for a wedding.

“There was so much less stress than having to plan a huge event for hundreds of people. This meant that we got to spend quality time with the people we did share the day with. There was so much less stress on the day of as well – we got to savor and enjoy every moment!”

- K + Y

“We loved pretty much everything. We had so much freedom to choose what we wanted and there was way less stress.”

- K + E

Experience

Quality time, intimacy, and being in the moment are things each of my client’s values. It’s so much easier to be vulnerable, cry, and share emotions when you’re not on show for a crowd.

Eloping is more about quality than quantity, and nothing showcases this better than the overall experience. More precious time spent together, with each guest, doing things you both love.

“We were able to be with and focus on each other without distraction, so we could be really present and vulnerable and engaged in what was happening.”

- K + E

“We loved literally everything. It was allowed to be exactly what WE wanted it to be. Our entire focus was each other.”

- N + S

“Eloping left a sense of unpredictability because we didn’t have a strict timeline for the events of the day. It left us with a lot of flexibility o make sure everything we wanted to do that day got done. It also let us be more present in the moment instead of worrying about our guest’s comfort.

- C + G

Location

Using nature as a venue is the ultimate elopement flex. It’s always stunning, unique, and there are so many incredible landscapes to choose from. You can choose to get married anywhere in the world — there is no venue to compete with others to book 12+ months out! Of course, some places do require permits, but I’ll help you walk through that process when needed.

“We got to be in a BEAUTIFUL location – the majesty of the surroundings made such a momentous life event feel even more significant and intimate.”

- K + Y

“We loved the adventure. Being surrounded by the natural beauty of Washington was an incredible experience and the photo opportunities were spectacular!”

- M + G

“We chose to elope mainly because of pressure from our families. Not everyone could afford to travel where we wanted to elope, and we didn’t want to sacrifice the location to have everyone there.”

- C + G

Freedom

I’ve heard repeatedly that eloping creates space to rethink what you want for your own wedding day. This is huge! It’s like starting from scratch, rather than building upon everything you’ve seen at other weddings, observed online, or heard others talk about. You decide what matters to you and this is what personalizes your ceremony, making it memorable and meaningful to you.

“After thinking about it, we realized that we wanted an intimate ceremony, but we still wanted a big party with everyone after. We decided to keep the traditions we liked and toss everything else.”

- K + J

“We loved the intimate feel of eloping, and the decision to elope helped us give ourselves permission to re-evaluate other traditions as well and really choose what we wanted to keep, change, or get rid of.”

- E + K

What was the hardest part of eloping?

The early stages

The “the world is your oyster — you can choose anywhere you’d like to elope!” type of thinking is amazing, but it can also cause decision overload. It’s especially easy to fall prey to this in the beginning stages of planning since anything is possible. Know that this can happen to any big dreamer and you’re not alone in it.

“At the very beginning, choosing a location and navigating the logistics of each state/country we were interested in, was daunting. We felt like we were going to have to work out every single detail by ourselves. Finding the members of our support team alleviated that for us.”

- K + E

“We aren't elopement experts, so having someone who knew what they were doing and could provide guidance/advice/suggestions made the whole process streamlined. The hardest part was narrowing down the location (there were too many gorgeous options) and having to wait for the day to finally arrive!”

- K + Y

“The hardest part was being so far from where we wanted to elope and not seeing the location until we were there all dressed up.”

- C + G

National Park Permits

Each national park has different permit requirements to get married. The rules are strict, LNT principles are a must, and it’s not uncommon for popular parks to have high volumes of traffic, limit the number of guests allowed at your ceremony, and only allow ceremonies in designated areas.

Unfortunately, K + E worked through all these issues at Mount Rainier National Park and still had one major problem. On the day of their elopement, previously unplanned construction started at their permitted ceremony site rendering it unusable. Thankfully the staff at Mount Rainier worked with us to find a similar suitable location and the rest of the day went as planned.

Weather

I don’t insist on creating backup plans for no reason! The weather is the one thing that is truly out of our control. Just in the past few years, we’ve had unprecedented heat domes, floods, blizzards, and wildfires rage through the country. While we can plan and prepare, sometimes flexibility is key.

“The lack of snow melt derailed plans, but I knew we were in good hands and that the backup options would come in clutch if necessary.”

- K + Y

“We had a hard time communicating with our non-outdoorsy families on what to wear. Send pictures with examples of appropriate outfits!”

- E + K

Would you do anything differently?

I knew I wanted to ask this question, but I was honestly a little afraid. My couples make some bold and difficult decisions. What if someone regretted not having their loved ones present for their ceremony? What if surprising their family after they eloped didn’t go over well? I’m glad I didn’t let fear win here because their answers were so reassuring!

“Not a chance.”

- N + S

“The day felt so perfect that it's hard to think of anything we would have wanted to change!”

- K + Y

“Nothing, we loved every minute of it.”

- M + G

“No!!!! I absolutely loved the way things unfolded. Working in the wedding industry now (we own a wedding venue) has really showed me how eloping meant more to us than having a true big wedding.”

- C + G

No one can say it better than those who have experienced it for themselves, right? If my couple’s opinions and values resonated with you it’s probably time to ditch the wedding plans and elope!

I’ll help you get started — click here to contact me!