Often the most difficult part of eloping is letting your family and friends know that you won’t be hosting a stereotypical wedding. Bucking tradition and choosing to elope in a way that is meaningful to you takes courage but is oh so worth it.

Through these tips, I hope to encourage you to share your dreams with those you love and not let other people’s opinions and expectations affect how you spend one of the most memorable days of your lives. It’s your elopement day. You deserve to celebrate it exactly the way you want.

Face to face

Although this might be the toughest option, it can also be the most rewarding. By telling your family and friends about your plans to elope in person, via Facetime, or a phone call, they’ll be able to hear the excitement in your voice and you’ll be able to better gauge reactions.

Be ready to elaborate on why you’re choosing to elope to help them understand your decision and not feel left out.

Writing a letter

It may be old-fashioned but writing letters has certainly not gone out of style. A letter can show how much thought and effort you’ve put into your plans. Even if you talk with your family face-to-face, giving them a note that tells them how important they are to you and thanking them for their love and support can go a long way.

Drop Hints

If you know you’d like to elope, engaged or not, start dropping hints. Ease your family members into the idea of an elopement early on and they’ll have warmed up to the idea by the time it comes. If you know someone that may be particularly skeptical, enlist other family members to help casually mention that it might be something you’re thinking of.

Invite them

Just because you’re eloping doesn’t mean you can’t have anyone present. If you’d like to have guests attend, invite those you can’t envision your day without. To others who ask, explain that you’re having an intimate ceremony but would love to celebrate with them at a reception or dinner together at a later date.

Surprise them

Shock your family and friends with a mailed announcement, social media post, or text message with your favorite elopement photo!

There are so many fun ways to surprise your family — from Facetiming them after your ceremony to telling them in person. Use your imagination and have fun with this option!

Host a party

Invite everyone to a reception, party, or dinner after you get back. This is the perfect time to share a slideshow of your photos or an elopement video. If anyone didn’t “get it” before, seeing how awesome your elopement day was will help them understand.

Kim and Joe (below) invited their families to greet them at the trailhead after their backpacking elopement and followed it with a reception that evening.

Your elopement day is for you

When family and friends’ reactions are less than ideal, understand that their desire to be included stems from wanting acknowledgment that they’re an important part of your life. Many people just need reassurance or time to warm up to the idea.

Remember that this is your day and your choice. You deserve to celebrate your love however feels right to you!